Thursday, Oct. 6, 2011

Today is the funeral. We rise, shower and have a good breakfast. The service is set for 11 a.m. I knew that my dear cousin Rena, husband and daughters will be driving from Broken Arrow along with her brother Roger and his family. Folks will come from Ketchum. Travel time is needed.

At some point, our VA benefits guy Mark, notified PMO about paperwork needing my mom's signature, so we want to get this done while we're in Joplin. It has also become apparent that the facility with a memory unit we have been pursuing does not have space available for mom right now. We will not be moving her back to Madison on this trip.

Joel and I take off for the nursing home to see mom. He lost his cell phone the night before, which is frustrating. But we stop at the bank first because I need some cash. I intend to pay the sign language interpreter for her services, in spite of being told by the funeral director that she isn't expecting to be paid. This is a theme. People in these parts are genuinely nice.

Mom is up and dressed and is so happy to see us. We have about 45 minutes with her before needing to leave for the funeral. She was a great sport to sign the papers I brought. We have a sweet visit and look at photos. Joel and I know the right thing is for her not to be at the service. We left her listening to Frank Sinatra.

The day is bright and sunny, as it has been all week. Not a cloud in the sky. There is a small group in the chapel. The interpreter's name is Erin. She's not a CODA (child of deaf adult), but was influenced by a SODA (sibling of deaf adult) to become an interpreter.

Terri is there and ready for the service. The slide show of photos plays above the coffin while soft music plays. We enter and sit in the front row. Joel sits on my right, PMO on my left and then my kids. The slide show is great.

Terri begins with a welcome. Then comes the first song "Old Rugged Cross." It was one of Dad's favorite hymns. This version is sung by Ann Murray. The added signing of the hymn makes for a very moving experience. Then a prayer, followed by a reading from scripture, II Timothy 4: 6 - 8.

The pastor delivers the most wonderful eulogy. I was so impressed with her ability to weave all the information she had gotten from me only hours ago into a beautiful and fitting tribute. It was absolutely perfect. The service hit just the right notes and had just the right tone to celebrate the life of the man we all loved so much.  The song "Just a Closer Walk With Thee" closed the service. It was a version by Patsy Cline.

The chapel service came to a close and the mourners came up to greet, hug and express their condolences to us. Everyone who I expected to be there, was there. And a few unexpected. Like Tyler, a fine young man who was Dad's financial advisor. Close friends Joanie and Tom. Neighbors Nell and Dick, Ron and Joanne. Dad's cousin Barbara and son Jon. Some folks from Ketchum I didn't know at all. His niece and nephew from Oklahoma and their families. A man from the Methodist church who was one of the men's breakfast group. He so enjoyed my Dad's friendship and will miss him.

Our immediate family rides in a white limo and follows the hearse to Mount Hope cemetery. They take the back way, fortunately, to avoid the hideous Range Line Road.

We wait as the military unit carry Dad from the hearse to the pavilion. The coffin is covered by the flag. There are five young men and one young woman who are members of the National Guard. Reverend Terri reads the 23rd Psalm. There is the 21 gun salute and the playing of taps. The most poignant moment comes when the flag is folded and the young guardsman hands it to me and recites these words: "This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service."


Everyone heads back to the funeral home to get their cars. We decide that a meal at Lumpy's is in order. It was one of Dad's favorite local places. He loved having their bbq and drinking a beer.

At the restaurant is the former pastor of Royal Heights, Tracy Baer and the man from the breakfast group. He mentions how much he liked the obituary.

We all disperse, take a nap and later on collect my Mom and have dinner at Olive Garden. She barely eats, but chugs her glass of Cabernet. She said it was like Christmas having us all together. We talked about the service a little, but she was just thrilled to be with us.

Before turning in for the night, there's just one last thing I need to do. Download "Closer Walk" by Patsy Cline.